Book Review #22
Did you know, instead of asking kids "to help" if you ask them to "be a helper" increases their tendency to help by 33%. Turns out it is due to the difference between verbs and nouns. E.g., if I told you Rebecca goes running, and Fred is a runner, invariably you think Fred likes running more. If you have a tough time sticking to a New Year’s resolution, saying “I don’t” works better than saying “I can’t”
Wharton professor, Jonah Berger in "Magic Words" published this month summarizes analytics-based insights on the power of using words the right way to advance yourself, have personal impact and connect better. The six types of magic words strategies are
(1) Activate identity and agency: Turning action to identity is critical ("to help" vs. "to be a helper". Change "can’ts" to "don’ts" & "shoulds" into "coulds" (to enable creative thinking), talk to yourself, and drop the “you” to avoid finger-pointing language
(2) Convey confidence: Four major ways to express confidence: (a) ditch the hedges - avoid phrases like "I think" and "In my opinion" and replace them with clearly, definitely etc. (b) don’t hesitate - avoid fillers (c) turn pasts into presents - present tense sounds more definitive, e.g. he was a good team player vs. he is a good team player and (d) know when to express doubt
(3) Ask the right questions: Asking questions makes people think you are smarter and more competent. Four strategies for asking better questions are to: (a) follow up to get deeper (b) deflect difficulties (ask a reverse related question to avoid sensitive traps) (c) avoid assumptions, and (d) start safe, then build
(4) Leverage concreteness: Research shows that "linguistic concreteness" helps. Three ways to achieve linguistic concreteness: (a) make people feel heard (clear paraphrasing), (b) make the abstract concrete (no vagueness) (c) know when to be abstract (to convey a vision or big picture be abstract so people know who to vote for or who is to be promoted)
(5) Employ emotion: The Pratfall effect says that your likeability or appeal increases when you make some mistakes instead of being a perfectionist. Four ways to employ emotion: (a) build a roller coaster, (b) mix up moments, (c) consider the context (emotions are good for hedonic things but bad for utilitarian ones), and (d) activate uncertainty
(6) Harness similarity (and differences): Linguistic similarity is a big predictor of new employees becoming successful whereas people with dissimilar language style were four times more likely to be fired. In contrast, with art/music/lyrics, having linguistic difference makes creative output standout and be more successful. Similarity drives alignment whereas differentiation is linked to creativity and memorability
Overall "Magic Words" gives powerful new insights leveraging analytics and is a very valuable book to understand how the nuances in language drives influence and impact.
Jonah Berger #bookreview #influencing
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