Daring Greatly : Book Review

 Book Review #21

If you have grappled with the idea that being "Vulnerable" is a bad idea, then you must definitely read "Daring Greatly" by Dr. Brene Brown. Brene dispels the myth that vulnerability is a weakness and argues that it is rather an accurate measure of courage. Here are my takeaways

- The central objective is to live a life of wholehearted worthiness fully accepting our vulnerabilities. If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging that is not linked to prerequisites like achievements, wealth, designations etc.

- Vulnerability does not mean hanging ourselves out to everyone; it means having the connection or means to share ourselves with people who have earned the right - with trust, mutual empathy and reciprocal sharing

- Understand the difference between shame and guilt. Guilt = I did something bad and Shame = I am bad. Guilt creates psychological discomfort, something similar to cognitive dissonance and motivates meaningful change. Guilt is just as powerful as shame, but its influence is positive, while shame is destructive

- Most people believe that shame is a good tool to keep people in line. This is wrong and dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying

- The secret killer of innovation is shame. A deep fear of being wrong, of being belittled and of feeling less is what that stops us taking the risks required to move our companies forward

- We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection

- Do not be afraid of vulnerability. In general, we operate with an idea that Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, but remember it is the first thing the other person looks for in you. Covering your vulnerability is like wearing a mask that won't reveal yourself to the people you love and sometimes you yourself are not aware who is underneath

- Foreboding Joy (thinking your joy will not last), Perfectionism (avoiding judgement and shame) and numbing (deaden the pain of discomfort) are factors that prevent you from being your true vulnerable self while retaining your sense of wholehearted worthiness

- To overcome foreboding joy practice gratitude, to overcome perfectionism make the journey from “What will people think?” to “I am enough.” and to overcome numbing practice shame resilience

- The space between our practiced values (what we actually do, think, and feel) and our aspirational values (what we want do, think, and feel) is the value gap or “disengagement divide” where we lose our employees, our clients, our students, and even our own children

This is a heavy book that made me read several sections again and again as so many examples were highly relatable.

#bookreview #brenebrown #vulnerability